Did you just see the Batmobile???
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
