so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
