so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
