So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
do herpes really smell.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
