hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
