I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
