Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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