come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
