Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it hurts more in the daytime
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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