the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
