YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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