one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
