guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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