Porn is love you can see.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize