She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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