I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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