Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
