just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
