Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have feelings that need drinking.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
