how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
