I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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