Who wears a wallet chain?!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
