I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
