We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
