Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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