very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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