there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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