i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't deserve a penis
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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