he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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