never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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