i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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