Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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