Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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