I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
