Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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