I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
