ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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