That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
