Do you still have your period?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
