But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
