If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
