After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
