i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
