The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
