billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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