I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
