i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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