so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
