haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize