Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize