Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You dont lie about slip and slides
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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