I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
