Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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