Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
