After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
