So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it's not cheating when I paid for it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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