Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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